Parenting
Quiz
How
Are You Doin'g As a Parent?
- Your child says,
"I hate my brother!" You respond:
a. "You
can't mean you hate your brother. You really love
him."
b."It
sounds like you're angry. I wonder what happened that's
made you feel this way?"
c."Seems
like you're feeling frustrated. How can you let your
brother know that you don't like it when he calls
you names?"
- When
your child leaves his toys all over the house or doesn't
get her homework done, do you say:
a.You're
a slob.
b.This
place is a mess, please clean it up.
c.What,
are you stupid? You know your report is due tomorrow.
d.I
feel frustrated when you don't plan your time better. I'd
like you to make your school work a priority.
- If
your children are fighting over a toy, you:
a.Let
them know that if they don' t stop arguing, the toy is going
to be yours for the day.
b.Tell
them that they can either share the toy or neither of them
will be allowed to play with it.
c.Praise
your kids whenever they do share.
- How
often do you discipline your kids?
a.Rarely
b.Whenever
they misbehave
c.Every
day
- Your
child has spilled his/her milk on the floor. You:
a.Give
him a sponge and ask him to clean it up.
b.Yell
at her and tell her she's careless.
c.You
encourage him to clean up the milk and praise him for his
desire to become more independent.
- Your
child says he can't find his backpack and it's almost time
to leave for school. You:
a.Frantically
race around the house looking for his backpack.
b.Remind
him that it's his responsibility to keep track of his things
and assure him that he can find it.
c.Tell
him that if he can't find his backpack, he'll have to go
to school without it. Later you tell him that you know that
from now on he'll put his backpack in a special place so
that he can find it easily.
- When
your children misbehave in a restaurant you:
a.Threaten
that you're never going to take them out to eat again.
b.Let
them know that either they settle down or you're all going
to have to leave.
c.You
let your children know ahead of time how you expect them
to behave and what the consequences will be if they don't
cooperate.
- Your
child comes home from school crying. You:
a.Ask
him what's wrong and when he says "Nothing," you
respond, "You seem sad."
b.Tell
her, "There's nothing to cry about and to get over
it."
c.Ask
her what's wrong and when she tells you "Nothing,"
you let her know that you're interested and will listen
whenever she's ready to talk.
- One
of your house rules is that your children can watch an hour
of TV a day or play on the computer for an hour a day. When
the hour is up you:
a.Remind
them that TV time is over. When they beg and scream, you
stick to your guns.
b.Remind
them that it's time to turn off the TV. When they beg and
scream, you give in and let them watch another show.
c.Tell
them that it's time to turn off the TV. When they protest,
you let them know that they can either turn off the TV or
lose their TV privileges for tomorrow.
- Your
child wants to try out for the baseball team. This is the
first time he's expressed an interest in anything athletic.
After some practice time he feels discouraged. You say:
a."You're
doing just fine. It takes time to get the swing of things.
Let's just keep practicing."
b."You're
right. You're not very athletic. Maybe you should stick
with your art projects."
c."Come
on now. You're getting the hang of it. Be patient and you'll
improve."
- One of your
house rules is that your children can watch an hour of TV
a day or play on the computer for an hour a day. When the
hour is up you:
a.Remind
them that TV time is over. When they beg and scream, you
stick to your guns.
b.Remind
them that it's time to turn off the TV. When they beg and
scream, you give in and let them watch another show.
c.Tell
them that it's time to turn off the TV. When they protest,
you let them know that they can either turn off the TV or
lose their TV privileges for tomorrow.
- Your
child wants to try out for the baseball team. This is the
first time he's expressed an interest in anything athletic.
After some practice time he feels discouraged. You say:
a."You're
doing just fine. It takes time to get the swing of things.
Let's just keep practicing."
b."You're
right. You're not very athletic. Maybe you should stick
with your art projects."
c."Come
on now. You're getting the hang of it. Be patient and you'll
improve."
Congratulations!
This quiz was designed to help you become more aware of how
you respond to your children. Please don't
use this information to make yourself wrong. Instead, use
it to learn where you can strengthen your parenting skills.
Trust me, we all have areas that can use some improvement.
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See
how you did.
Here
are the correct answers to the quiz.
- Your
child says, "I hate my brother!" A better response
is:
b."It
sounds like you're angry. I wonder what happened that's
made you feel this way?"
c."Seems
like you're feeling frustrated. How can you let your
brother know that you don't like it when he calls
you names?"
Both of these responses acknowledge
your child's feelings.
- When
your child leaves his toys all over the house or doesn't
get her homework done the better responses are:
b.This
place is a mess, please clean it up.
d.I
feel frustrated when you don't plan your time better. I'd
like you to make your school work a priority.
Each of these responses focuses on
the behavior you want changed rather than on criticizing
the child.
- If
your children are fighting over a toy you:
a.Let
them know that if they don' t stop arguing, the toy
is going to be yours for the day.
b.Tell
them that they can either share the toy or neither of them
will be allowed to play with it.
c.Praise
your kids whenever they do share.
Any of these responses is effective.
- How
often do you discipline your kids? "B" is the
correct response.
b.Whenever
they misbehave
We want the majority of the time
we spend with our kids to be positive. On the other hand,
we do need to correct our children's misbehavior;
they actually want us to, although they'll never admit
it!
- Your
child has spilled his milk on the floor. The correct responses
are:
a.Give
him a sponge and ask him to clean it up.
c.You
encourage him to clean up the milk and praise him for his
desire to be more independent.
We want to encourage independence
in our children. And let them know that mistakes are a natural
part of the learning process.
- Your
child says he can't find his backpack and it's almost time
to leave for school. The correct responses are:
b.Remind
him that it's his responsibility to keep track of
his things and assure him that he can find it.
c.Tell
him that if he can't find his backpack, he'll
have to go to school without it. Later you tell him that
you know that from now on he'll put his backpack in
a special place so that he can find it easily.
Again, we want to foster a sense
of personal responsibility. A rule of thumb is don't
do for your kids what they can do for themselves.
- When
your children misbehave in a restaurant you… The
correct responses are?
b.Let
them know that either they settle down or you're all
going to have to leave.
c.You
let your children know ahead of time how you expect them
to behave and what the consequences will be if the don't
cooperate.
There is no point in making idle
threats. The best strategy is to let your kids know ahead
of time what you expect of them and then be willing to follow
through with a consequence. When you want to change your
children's behavior you have to make it a priority.
- Your
child comes home from school crying. The most effective
responses are:
a.Ask
him what's wrong and when he says "Nothing,"
you respond, "You seem sad."
c.Ask
her what's wrong and when she tells you "Nothing,"
you let her know that you're interested and will listen
whenever she's ready to talk.
"A" acknowledges your
child's emotions and helps them to understand what
they're feeling. "B" lets your child know
that you're interested in what they're dealing
with without pressuring them to talk.
- One
of your house rules is that your children can watch an hour
of TV a day or play on the computer for an hour a day. When
the hour is up you… The most effective responses
are:
a.Remind
them that TV time is over. When they beg and scream, you
stick to your guns.
b.Tell
them that it's time to turn off the TV. When they
protest, You let them know that they can either turn off
the TV or lose their TV privileges for tomorrow.
Being consistent is one of the most
important strategies for effective discipline. Consistency
means you are willing to back up your words with actions.
You need to learn to talk less and act more.
- Your
child wants to try out for the baseball team. This is the
first time he's expressed an interest in anything athletic.
After some practice time, he feels discouraged. You say…:
The most supportive responses are:
a."You're
doing just fine. It takes time to get the swing of things.
Let's just keep practicing."
c."Come
on now. You're getting the hang of it. Be patient
and you'll improve."
Sometimes we have to believe in our
kids more than they believe in themselves. Your expectations
and belief that your kids can do it is crucial in nurturing
their growing sense of themselves and their talents.
This quiz will give you a sense of just some
of what you'll learn in the online course Life
Coaching for Parents: Six Weeks to Sanity.
During
the next six weeks, you'll have an opportunity to refine
your parenting skills through participating in this powerfully
effective online course based on Stephanie
Marston's groundbreaking book,
The Magic of Encouragement: Nurturing Your Child's Self-Esteem.
Each session is jam-packed with "kitchen-tested"
tools and techniques for turning your family from what often
feels like a battle ground into a peaceful, nurturing environment
for your entire family.
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